You might be thinking, “What is comparison complex.” Comparison Complex is when we essentially rate ourselves against another person.  And 99.99% of the time we rate ourselves “less than” the other person.   “The second our internal competence scale tips from self-assured to self-doubting is the moment we begin feeling defeat.  We start questioning our ability, intelligence, strengths – our entire future.  When we feel inadequate, uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, anger, disappointment, hopelessness, and fear of failure become the norm.  The net effect of feeling incompetent is disastrous: we stop trying, learning, growing, and contributing.  We start compulsively comparing ourselves to others, and we feel we don’t measure up.  Our charge in life can feel lost altogether because progress feel daunting, if not impossible.”  - Brendon Burchard  When I read that section a few months ago in The Charge by Brendon Burchard I thought, “Oh my gosh that is 100% me….Still.” I couldn’t believe that this was still me!?!  I have recovered from Anorexia - that’s behind me!!  I eat healthy and help people all day long feel better about their bodies!  How could this still be me?!   I realized that I shifted from comparing my body to other peoples’ bodies to comparing areas of my life to others.  So that anxiety, feelings of incompetence, not measuring up were still all there because of my comparison complex.  I know I’m not alone here.  Does this sound like you?  Now that I’m awake and aware I see this happening all over the place.  And now with the power of social media we’re comparing ourselves to people we don’t even know!  We’re comparing ourselves to celebrities, public figures, people on Instagram, etc.  We’re comparing without knowing a single thing about what’s happening on the other side of the posted picture.  Many of us who struggled with an eating disorder or body dysmorphia in the past have never fully gotten over it.  And while we are eating better and working out in a kinder fashion we’re still in the comparison complex cycle.  As we’ve moved out of that phase we’ve imprinted the same behavior onto other areas of our lives.  So what do we do?  My answer isn’t a quick fix.  Just like weight loss, it is a total journey with daily consistent actions towards leading a healthier life.  But there are definite steps we can take each day to lift ourselves out of this mental and emotional block.  From my experience I have learned there are three things we must do daily to reverse this mindset.  First - We need to approach our lives and each day with a grateful heart.  Instead of placing harsh criticisms on each moment we approach them with a gentle filter.  Instead of looking at each moment in judgment we approach them with an open and accepting attitude.  Instead of looking for reasons that it won’t work out, we start looking for ways we can thrive.  By shifting our frame of mind to that of being grateful we open up ourselves to a world of possibilities we’ve been suffocating. Second - We need to compliment our physical form.  We need to look ourselves in the mirror at the start of every day and verbalize something that is truly remarkable about ourselves.  We all have unique qualities that make us spectacular. By recognizing these things daily we are more inclined to stand up and stand out as opposed to shrink into the background.  Third - we must take ourselves out of the equation.  I know that sounds like the complete opposite of what I said above but when we have a goal, a vision, a dream, and make it about someone else then it becomes so much more powerful.  You decide to treat yourself with respect to be an example for your daughter; you step up and take charge of a project to make your parents proud; you lose 50 pounds to be around for your spouse when you’re older…. See what I’m saying? It becomes exponentially more powerful to treat yourself better for the benefit of the people we love.  And remember - they love and adore you too.  Try to look at yourself through THEIR eyes and see your incredibly beautiful qualities!  You matter.  You are beautiful.  It’s time to show the world your value!

You might be thinking, “What is comparison complex.” Comparison Complex is when we essentially rate ourselves against another person.  And 99.99% of the time we rate ourselves “less than” the other person.  


“The second our internal competence scale tips from self-assured to self-doubting is the moment we begin feeling defeat.  We start questioning our ability, intelligence, strengths – our entire future.  When we feel inadequate, uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, anger, disappointment, hopelessness, and fear of failure become the norm.  The net effect of feeling incompetent is disastrous: we stop trying, learning, growing, and contributing.  We start compulsively comparing ourselves to others, and we feel we don’t measure up.  Our charge in life can feel lost altogether because progress feel daunting, if not impossible.”  - Brendon Burchard 


When I read that section a few months ago in The Charge by Brendon Burchard I thought, “Oh my gosh that is 100% me….Still.” I couldn’t believe that this was still me!?!  I have recovered from Anorexia - that’s behind me!!  I eat healthy and help people all day long feel better about their bodies!  How could this still be me?!  

I realized that I shifted from comparing my body to other peoples’ bodies to comparing areas of my life to others.  So that anxiety, feelings of incompetence, not measuring up were still all there because of my comparison complex.  I know I’m not alone here.  Does this sound like you?  Now that I’m awake and aware I see this happening all over the place.  And now with the power of social media we’re comparing ourselves to people we don’t even know!  We’re comparing ourselves to celebrities, public figures, people on Instagram, etc.  We’re comparing without knowing a single thing about what’s happening on the other side of the posted picture.  Many of us who struggled with an eating disorder or body dysmorphia in the past have never fully gotten over it.  And while we are eating better and working out in a kinder fashion we’re still in the comparison complex cycle.  As we’ve moved out of that phase we’ve imprinted the same behavior onto other areas of our lives. 

So what do we do? 

My answer isn’t a quick fix.  Just like weight loss, it is a total journey with daily consistent actions towards leading a healthier life.  But there are definite steps we can take each day to lift ourselves out of this mental and emotional block. 

From my experience I have learned there are three things we must do daily to reverse this mindset. 

First - We need to approach our lives and each day with a grateful heart.  Instead of placing harsh criticisms on each moment we approach them with a gentle filter.  Instead of looking at each moment in judgment we approach them with an open and accepting attitude.  Instead of looking for reasons that it won’t work out, we start looking for ways we can thrive.  By shifting our frame of mind to that of being grateful we open up ourselves to a world of possibilities we’ve been suffocating.

Second - We need to compliment our physical form.  We need to look ourselves in the mirror at the start of every day and verbalize something that is truly remarkable about ourselves.  We all have unique qualities that make us spectacular. By recognizing these things daily we are more inclined to stand up and stand out as opposed to shrink into the background. 

Third - we must take ourselves out of the equation.  I know that sounds like the complete opposite of what I said above but when we have a goal, a vision, a dream, and make it about someone else then it becomes so much more powerful.  You decide to treat yourself with respect to be an example for your daughter; you step up and take charge of a project to make your parents proud; you lose 50 pounds to be around for your spouse when you’re older…. See what I’m saying? It becomes exponentially more powerful to treat yourself better for the benefit of the people we love. 

And remember - they love and adore you too.  Try to look at yourself through THEIR eyes and see your incredibly beautiful qualities!  You matter.  You are beautiful.  It’s time to show the world your value!