Engage the Restlessness!

“Everything is fine.”

“Yeah we’re doing good.” 

“Things are really busy.”

On the outside everything looks great.  You’re comfortable in your living situation, you have a decent relationship, your work is stable, and you’re just doing your thing day in and day out.  

But deep down do you feel a restlessness?  That feeling is your soul screaming: “there’s gotta be more!!!!”

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending High Performance Academy hosted by a world class speaker, motivator and one of the most accomplished people I’ve ever met, Brendon Burchard.  He described the life above as “Comfortable.”  The person in the picture above was living that comfortable life.  On the surface I was fine, good, and busy.  But in my soul I was unhappy, frustrated, and craving something bigger. 

Take a moment and stop reading this.  Take a breathe and look at your surroundings, your job, and your life.  Are things “fine, good or busy?”  Or do you feel enthusiastic, engaged and full of energy?  Are you counting the minutes until you’re out of work or are you present and joyful in the work you are doing day in and day out?   I had a feeling of restlessness in my soul for a really long time.  I didn’t know that I was simply living a “comfortable life” and not living into my true potential. 

My story starts around 11 years old.  I was new to a town and my family didn’t have a lot of money.  I made some friends and ended up at a sleepover with “the cool kids.”  Back then, at some point in the party we would all dress up and take glamor shots.  I remember the girl who was hosting the party had a jean skirt!  Being poor and wearing your brother’s hand-me-down hammer pants turned into a skort meant we could never afford a jean skirt.  So I took this opportunity by the reigns!  I squeezed it on for my photo shoot feeling elated that I would have a photo with this incredible jean skirt!  I felt awesome, I felt beautiful and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel poor!  I turn around to the girls to get their approval of the skirt and said, “So, what do you think?”

The next moment shaped the next 20 years of my life.  The girl who owned that amazing jean skirt said, “It would look good, if your stomach wasn’t so fat!”

I don’t remember if anyone laughed or if they simply kept trying on clothes. Because for me, everything went quite.  Before that moment I had never noticed the difference between people’s bodies.  I had just seen us as girls, boys, moms, dads, etc.  But in that moment I became hyper aware of how I looked in relation to other people. 

For the next 11-12 years I was anorexic, exercise bulimic and had severe body image issues.  And for the next 20 years I struggled to find my place. Everything on the surface was “fine.”  I wore many masks and hid a lot of pain…I kept really busy.  During that time I worked a lot.  I had multiple jobs and tried on a lot of relationships.  Not one of the jobs or one of the relationships ever filled the gap that I had created within myself.  

It wasn’t until moving to California that the restlessness in my bones said enough is enough!  I was sick of living the way I had been living.  For my entire adult life my income seemed to always be capped at one specific dollar amount. I cringe now thinking of how hard I tried to just keep hitting this ceiling. I was sick of living into what other people told me I should be doing as opposed to living into the big dreams I had always set for myself but never chased.

About 2 years into living in LA I quit my job in corporate America and became a personal trainer.  I had 7 clients…all of which were in the same bootcamp class.  So I “worked” 3 hours a week.  But I HUSTLED day in and day out.  I trusted in my abilities, maybe even for the first time, that I could figure it out.  I had a fire in my belly that was so hot I felt like I could do anything!  

Personal training and my brand The Balance Method was truly what saved me from being stuck in my “comfortable” life.   

I hustled for many years as a trainer.  I never took my foot off the gas but there was always a missing link.  That restless feeling kept growing and I couldn’t figure out why??  I was out of the bad jobs, I was in a good relationship, I had started MY own business!  What was missing?  

That feeling became so strong that I assumed it was telling me I was in the wrong profession.  That was until I was introduced to coaching.  I became a Beachbody coach in August 2014 and that is when my entire life transformed.  I went from living the comfortable life to living a life CHARGED with energy, enthusiasm and joy!  

I could share with you a million reasons how becoming a coach has impacted my life in a positive way.  But one that resonates with me in this moment is I was no longer alone.  As a trainer, I was alone.  I was working towards goals with no support, structure or clue as to how to get there.  I was looking at other people thinking, “they don’t understand me.  They don’t understand how hard this is.”  So in my frustration I became resigned.  And in that resignation I became bitter.  The thing I had loved so much became something that didn’t bring me joy anymore.  Because I was alone.  

I have engaged that restlessness not with the old fear and resentment, but with a passion and determination to fulfill my dreams.  Coaching has become the vehicle in which I can live into and work towards the life I have always envisioned myself living but always seemed out of reach.  

I challenge you to ask yourself some tough questions:

What life do I want to live? 

Am I living into that life daily?

Does what I’m doing matter?

I asked those questions.  I cried when I was truthful with the answers.  Then I took action.  Today I feel alive, engaged and joyful!  I look back at my past with gratitude that I went through all of that to truly know who I want to be and how I want to live my life.  

I’m not saying coaching is the only way to find this. I challenge you to find what fits YOU!  If my story resonates with you and you think what I’ve done could be beneficial to your life then I invite you to reach out to me.  We can have a conversation about what coaching would look like in your world.