Postpartum Journey of Self Love: My First New Rule

I don't think you'll ever know what your life is going to look like after having a baby.  When we were pregnant Charlie and I always talked about how we were not going to lose our adventurous spirit.  We talked about how we were going to travel just as much and show our children our favorite spots! 

At 11 days old Hunter has already been on a few local adventures.  He's been to the dog park, brewery, restaurants, and yesterday we took him on a 3+ hour road trip to see the super bloom of Poppy flowers.  Is it the same?  Not at all :) haha but we're figuring it out.  

While we're figuring out the fundamentals of traveling with feeding schedules, diaper changes and more, we are learning that the focus needs to be less on the procedural and more on the emotional.  We are learning that the focus needs to be on self love and self care in order to really make this whole thing work.

In just 11 short days I have seen the power of the self check-in AND the marital check-in.  If I try to power through and I don't acknowledge what I'm feeling I begin to feel the chaos take over.  And if our communication is off the stress builds faster than ever before.  It's amazing how the simple act of asking myself "How am I feeling right now?" or asking Charlie "How are YOU feeling?" makes a huge difference.  By asking that question I give myself the grace to truly feel what's going on in the moment.  By asking that question I remove the pressure of "doing it right" or "being perfect."  By asking that question I've been able to realize what I'm doing right now might not matter as much as I think.  That I might need to nap, or good cry or just be hugged.  By asking that question we both feel heard and we feel more connected.

If you are a mom (new or not) I encourage you to ask yourself this question in those moments of mounting stress.  The procedural will always be there and as we know, it will get done eventually. But the emotional is far more important to tend to.  Honoring the journey, honoring your feelings and protecting your energy is truly the biggest gift you can give yourself.  

You do that by checking in.  Whether that's an alarm on your phone to remind yourself or creating a rule that states "When I feel mounting stress I must check-in" make sure you create something during the day to protect your energy.

As I continue along this postpartum journey I'll keep sharing what I'm learning and how I'm developing a new self love and self care routine as a new mom!