Power of Saying "NO!"

Summary: Power of Saying NO!

I’m a reformed “people pleaser” and no stranger to saying YES to everything.  I would feel guilty, like I was letting the person down and obligated to say YES.  Do you feel like that? It doesn’t even matter if we truly do not want to do what is asked of us, we still feel like we have to say yes because we were asked.

I had an experience where I finally stood up for myself and said no to a project that would have taken an extraordinary amount of time and I would have received no compensation and very little credit.  Win win huh? Yeah right!  It was a win only for the person who asked me.  But being the people pleaser that I was, I almost said yes. 

But I asked myself these 4 questions and came to the conclusion that I had to say No.  When I did, I felt totally liberated and extremely proud of myself.  Ultimately my intuition was right.  The person knew he was screwing me over, tried to back-pedal and now can not even look me in the eyes.  In the moment of me standing up for myself our “friendship” became very clear... there was none, I was just there to help him.

The 4 questions you need to ask yourself before saying yes are:

  1. Who is it serving? 
  2. What emotions am I experiencing right now?
  3. What is the value added vs. the time spent?
  4. Am I growing as a person or am I simply adding more to my plate?

Answering these 4 questions will give you tremendous clarity and insight into whether or not you should say yes.  If even one of these answers is tugging at you, try saying no!